Holidays

Finally my holiday is here. I'm off to the Isle of Wight with the family for
a couple of weeks basking in the height of the English summer.

Wellies at the ready!

Actually the forecast looks great, but I don't want to jinx it!

MP3 8-Ball

Do you know what a psychic 8 ball is? Well, this is a modern version.
I don't know how it works, it just does. Must be like Tarot or astrology, sort of all in the interpretation.

Instructions:
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense. You'll be surprised though.
NO CHEATING

My answers:
(note these were originally aimed at a rather younger audience, but it doesn't matter really. I should have rewritten the questions but couldn't be arsed.)

How am I feeling today?
All because of you - U2 (Well this has been the highlight of my day - thanks!)

Will I get far in life?
Surrender - Elvis (Good advise there)

How do my friends see me?
Die, all right - The Hives (Now that's just plain nasty!)

Where will I get married?
Ghetto Musick - Outkast (Well, I suppose as I'm already married, that makes sense)

What is my best friend's theme song?
Stop me if you hink you've heard this one before - The Smiths (Errm ... am I that boring??)

What is the story of my life?
Nonstop to Tokyo - Pizzicato Five (Ha!)

What was high school like?
Express youself [Extended Mix] - NWA (So true, and so long ago!!)

What is the best thing about me?
Beware of Darkness - George Harrison (Don't get that one ... psychiatrist ...)

What was today like?
Le Garage - Futureheads (Errm ... well I did listen to that today, but more I cannot discern)

What is in store for this weekend?
Orange Blossom Special - Johnny Cash (Well, I hope the cash bit comes true)

What song describes my parents?
You ain't seen nothing yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive (perfect)

How is my life going?
Waiting for a train - Johnny Cash (OMFG So true. I am waiting for something to happen - hence blogging for no apparent reason)

What song will they play at my funeral?
Jailbird - Primal Scream (Man! this is just wierd!)

How does the world see me?
What is he thinking - The Streets (Oh f*ck)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Navigator - The Pogues (so that's a no then?)

How can I make myself happy?
Irish Poet - The Saw Doctors (This one is cryptic - I neet to think about it ...)

What should I do with my life?
I Gotta Know - Elvis (True: most of it's over, if I don't know by now, then I never will)

Will I ever have children?
Connected - Stereo MC's (Also true. I do have kids. Twins in fact - Stereo - brilliant!)

What will you name them?
Peaches en Regailia - Frank Zappa (Well, I should've - but this does bring to mind 2 brilliant celebrity children names Peaches Bob Geldof's daughter and Moon Base Alpha, FZ's daughter!!)

Who will you marry?
Tell Mamma - Etta James (Yes, I should've consulted Mamma first!)

Do you have a gf/bf?
Paranoid - Black Sabbath (errm ...)

How will you die?
Atomic - Blondie (Brilliant!!!)

Laser Keyboard

Is this the best gadget or what? Now, if I had a) 200Euros b) A handheld PC c) nothing better to do with my money, I'm sure I'd go out right now and buy one. ;)

Go get one from getdigital.de

For one time only

Finally the evening I was waiting for and dreading in equal measure, came and went.
A very enjoyable party - thanks Joe. The night is forever preserved here.

http://metricspace.co.uk/joe_and_the_jokers/

I think anyone who actually reads this blog already has this in their inbox.
The only comment I'd make here is that it sounded a whole lot better on the night, because the video clips were done with a stills camera taking low-res avi's. Still, the Whiskey in the jar and Hey Joe clips don't sound too bad.

Festivals and stuff

This week is the biannual St. Albans Festival, and this year the usual St Michael's Street Folk Festival is part of the Fringe.

Amongst the bands will be St. Albans favourites Deaf Shepherd.


Here is an article from The Herts Advertiser describing the goings on.
I'll be there on Wednesday drinking ale and watching the Morris dancers ...

Then, this weekend we will be watching Blondie, David Gray, Seth Lakeman, The Feeling and others at the Cornbury Music Festival!!
I can't wait - I shall post pictures and stuff here soon ...

I love my job

I've just looked back at my previous post, and it is weird ... a kind of schizo episode. It doesn't sound like me at all. I actually really like my current job, my colleagues are my friends and are all very nice and rather lovely. I don't have a traditional type boss at all, just someone who doesn't interfere, gives helpful advice when needed and signs all my expense claim forms without question.
If I look back on my previous job, even that wasn't as bad as I might have indicated. I had a lot of friends there and really wasn't pressured to do what I didn't want. The only reason I left was that it was time to move on lest my feet became rooted to the place.

So, please ignore my previous rant!!

Resignation letter

For want of better conversation on Friday evening before going home, this is what I would like to have said in my resignation letter in some of my previous jobs:

---

Dear Mr Manager,

thanks for nothing. Money is no recompense.
I hope you rot in hell.

Dear So-Called Colleagues,

Despite saying I would, I'll never phone or e-mail any of you ever again.
Deal with it.

yours,
Me

---

Of course, my resignation letter from this job will be quite different ... now let's see ...

Glastonbury nostalgia

What an amazing weekend of coverage of the main headline music at the Glastonbury festival from the BBC (my favourite, the gypsy-punks Gogol Bordello). Apart from the bands, the articles where they go wandering around looking for interesting things gives you a something of a flavour of what it is like away from the main stage, but, in my opiniion not nearly enough. (I loved the robot zoo BTW!)

I have fond, if sparse, memories of the years when I used to go to Glastonbury. I had some brilliant and formative experiences there, along-side some scary ones. But, I never saw too many of the main bands - we spent most of our time at small stages, at the then very new rave tents, at the traveller's field and stage, at the circus field, in the green field and around impromptu bonfires.
I was there a few times between 89 and 96, but the one that sticks in my mind is the 1990 festival and the battle between the police and and the travellers. It is consistently quoted as the worst event in most peoples memories of the festival - but I thought it was quite normal, if a little scary when caught in the middle of it. Anyway, less said, the better - my friends and I got home in one piece (which can't be said for my car).

Anyway, going back to the telly coverage - I find it quite amazing how much you can see from the comfort of your sofa, back in the early 90's this was just not possible. I think it was channel 4 that started the telly coverage thing in the late 90's and, I think that permanently changed the flavour of the festival - now people go there solely to see bands and couldn't give a toss about the amazing things that go on at the rest of the festival, which is a shame.

One other thing is that the media obsession with the mud is just that, a media obsession. When you are there, you simply don't notice it after a while (so long as you are permanantly wrecked that is). Mind you, I think 2005 was rather different (i.e. before the new drainage was installed) - you have to remember for most of the year cows graze on those fields, and when it rains, what washes down the slopes down towards the pyramid tent isn't just mud ;)

Joe and the Jokers ... take 2

A new logo for the band ... that is uncannily like Joe ....
Thanks once again to artist extraordinaire Mr Kirk Valladares!!

It is circular and designed to fit on the front of a bass drum!

Philosophy and Monty Python

When one argues that words or sentences have meaning only in the context of other words, then you can extend that argument to include the context of the whole language - this is Semantic Holism. But taking this approach is akin to pulling the earth from under our feet, leaving us standing on nothing: anything can be true, anything can be false, in fact anything can be true or false at the same time.

Well, Monty Python understood this and made comedic hay in the sunshine of its consequences.

It is all explained beautifully here in this transcript of a lecture given to a philosophy undergrad class at Virginia Tech. Find somewhere quiet, take your time and read. There is much to learn.

Joe and the Jokers

The one-time-only band which we have got together for Joe's 50th birthday party, now has a name!

Lead Guitar: Joker Joe
Lead Vocals: Laughing Les
Guitar and Vocals: Tony "Wide-Open" Dawes
Bass guitar: As-if "Timing" Mirtha
Drums: "Cheshire" Cat

(Have to come up with a better name for my character ... suggestions welcome!)

Latest, and possibly final, song list:
Walk in the Room - The Searchers
Meet me on the Corner - Lindisfarne
I can't get no (Satisfaction) - Stones
Whiskey in the Jar - Thin Lizzy
Hey Joe - Hendrix
Back in the USSR - Beatles
Sunny Afternoon - The Kinks

Robogeek:It's Alive!

For those of you following our bijou little comic strip "RoboGeek", you might like to know ... It's Alive!!

Glorious May Bank Holiday

Well, it all seemed so nice on Friday when we arrived. BBQ on the go, beer and wine flowing, happy kids. Saturday was even nice enough for the kids to enjoy the forrest play area (see Giant Squirrel below). But, then that good old British institution known as the May Bank Holiday, played its usual tricks. The weather turned from 25degrees on Thursday to 6degrees on Sunday with persistent heavy rain and wind. Absolutely horrid. The low point was getting a phone call while we were in the pub telling us that our tent had collapsed in the wind. Not fun. On the plus side, the bedroom compartments and all our clothes and food stayed dry.

Among the highlights were the BBQ (total success, no one killed) and the poker evening (finished joint 1st - well, OK second).

Kaspar makes BBC news

Once again Kaspar the robot built by our team at Herts makes the national news.
Nice video of Kaspar and Ben, but what I like particularly about it is that the robot is wearing my son Yousef's clothes!!

Lets go kick some african animal ass

Midfielding ... it was a true story.
OK, so it is not a giant shrew lined with Kit-Kat wrappers like a glossy bitch, but it is a huge Squirrel of Troy filled with marauding children.

robot bondage

You know, like whatever turns you on. Man.

Technomonist

Technomonist.
A new word made up by me ;)

I'd like it to mean:
"One who leverages technical know-how for monetary gain."

Not to be confused with Technomancer which is derived from Technomancy (meaning magical powers from using technology), which, it appears, is a real word

EDIT:
An alternative meaning which would fit with it being a contraction of "Technology" and "Economist" would be:
"Analyst of tech-related markets."

but that is altogether too boring and predictable ...

WTF?

Web acronyms - necessary evil. I always thought that WTF? was a disbelieving exclamation (What The F**k?), but oh no, now Technorati want to reclaim it as meaning Where's The Fire? Damn them and their all invasive tech tentacles.

Midfielding

Midfielding
Noel Fielding (The Mighty Boosh) in a touch of small-furry-animals-in-trojan-adventure type hilarity. Heard it on Friday (Thanks Aris!), had me laughing most of the weekend!! (Listen out for the old Russian Lady!)

The lyrics by themselves are funny enough::

I love animals, I am always talkin’ about animals I love ‘em. But the thing is, you know whenever you see animals on telly it’s always the show off animals yeah. It is always the leopards and panthers and crocodiles Lions millin’ about going “Oh I’m very good I’m on everything!”

And, it really makes me annoyed you know, I mean what about the English animals, the British mammals yeah? Ooh, what about the muskrat or the tiny northern root vole with his little banjo and hat made out of elastic bands? Who’s representing him? No-one, that’s who!

I was furious, so I went round all the heavily wooded regions in England and I just went out with this small pamphlet recruiting like a huge slave rebellion. I was like Spartacus, I was there goin’ “Ok we’re gonna go to Africa we’re gonna kick their arses!”

And I’d got a huge sort of tiny little mammal slave rebellion they were all wearing tunics. We were there rummaging about Greece, well Kent! And I said COME ON! We’re gonna go over there we’re gonna show 'em I’m sick of the lions I’m sick of the crocodiles you must be too come on now!

So I got ‘em all in a big rusty bomber and we flew over to Africa But we needed a strategy! We couldn’t’ just go over there, you know and go COME ON! Giving them agro, we needed a strategy!

So what we did is, erm, we built a huge wooden shrew, like the wooden horse of troy but just a little bit more stoaty with tiny little stoats arms holding a spear and what we did was we lined it – to make it double dangerous we lined it all with Kit Kat wrappers oh it was fantastic, it was like a glossy bitch it was so bright! It was a metallic wonder!

Small boys would rather eat a pair of scissors than go near the glossy bitch
“Don’t make me go near it, I’ll eat another pair of scissors. I can’t look at it it’s doin’ me pupils in” Ooh it was fantastic it was very warlike.

The body was very warlike but the eyes, they were telling a different story, body warlike but the eyes, like the eyes of an old Russian lady who’d seen to much, an old Russian lady with her arm caught in a loom. And big sailors would walk past and go “Hello.” and she’d go “No, not hello, my arm it is in a loom.” And they’d go “Yes, hello.” and she’d go “No not hello, it’s gone maroon, my arm it is in a loom.” and they’d go “Yes, hello” and she’d go “No, not hello-“ And in the end she’d have to pick up the two ton loom and walk and follow them home and knock on their front windows. And they’d go “Oh you’re scaring me a little bit now”.

That’s what the eyes were like. Dangerous, but beautiful at the same time.

And what we did, was we cut two circles out of the base of the shrew, so that martin the pine marten could put his little stoaty, weasely legs through and wheel us around. It was fantastic, but we had no windows, so we were crashing into antique shops, knocking over stationary yachts, really having a nightmare. .

And eventually we found the planes and we waited till dusk, waited till it got little bit dark and we looked out of a crack in the shrew and there all out there, lions millin’ about and we thought we’re gonna get you you freak nuts! .

So what we did was, we waited till it was dark and then we went out and we went CHARGE! and we ran at them and when we got out there we couldn’t believe it! They were HUGE! Lions the size of transit vans! We couldn’t- we didn’t know what was happeni- Leopards like marquees!
“ Oh he’s like a Victorian tennis house, look at the size of him!” .

Martin the Pine Marten was in a right state!
“Flippin’ hell I’m not going out there again thy were bloody huge you didn’t tell me they were going to be that huge!”
What’s happening to your voice?
“I don’t know but I’m a bit scared!” .

So, we all ran back onto the shrew and we were like
“Oh no what are we going to do?” We had to come up with a plan B. Luckily Maurice the er, wood pigeon went
“I’ve got an idea” and er, he’d brought some Japanese tourist costumes along, so we popped them on and went out there and we took photos of them all. .

We used them cameras to fire water at them oh yeah! Some of the zebras were soaked! Cheetahs wringin’ out their gussets! .

We went over there and we kicked their arses! Best weekend I’ve ever had! .

RoboGeek

Website for the comic ... here (still only 2 entries though)