Everybody loves Raymond

Next trip has come along very fast - Nervi, Genoa, Italy on Tuesday. Review meeting so I expect it will be quite tense. Paris was great really relaxed - met up with a lot of peole I know. I will have to leave telling about my all-night drinking thing to another post - and I mean all night, we were back at the hotel at 6:30
Still I expect this will pale next to my next planned trip ... Next Feb, Warsaw, 6 lads and a pack of cards. Can't wait, my polish friend says the food and booze are fabulous, but he did say the girls are better looking in Krakow.

As far as takling my demons - 11 days, slightly fell of the wagon tonight, but in these circumstances you just have to get up, brush yourself off and re-double your resolve. It will be worth it. I am already seeing the difference, my focus on my research work is much better.

3rd Year

It is official, I have now embarked on my final year of my PhD.
One more year of not-enough-money-to-live-on, not really seeing my kids much, stress from my parents who keep asking "when are you going to make some money out of this robot thing?", stress from my wife who says "if you are not going to help with the kids AND you aren't going to earn any money the at least be HAPPY!", and stress from me who wants to do something significant and not to look back on this and say "what a waste of time!".

Do I sound depressed - well probably no more than any other nearly-40 year old with 3 kids wondering where his life is going. But, yes maybe I am a bit - the sudden losses of temper for no reason are the real indicator. There are probably three reasons - and I am tackling each.
1. my -ism. For the first time, I am really taking this one on. Old cliche, but: Total removal of all temptation, and will power. One week so far, and counting. My hope is that I did this before with another addiction, and I can do it with this one.
2. my phd going no where. I have to believe that I can do something great here, and start listening to the people who tell me that this stuff is good.
3. my lack of money. well so what. (denial??)

there is probably more, but I don't want to delve any deeper just yet.

my next post will be more up-beat: promise.

8)